I want to remember what I forget

Approaching my 61st birthday on July 8.

Feeling sure that in my DNA that Alzheimer's Disease is in my future.  Like Mom.  Like her mom, my Grandma Wilson.

My mind is slipping, distinctly slipping, although how much of this is natural aging and how much is something more?   Unclear.

I want to have an assessment at this point to determine whether this is Alzheimer's or not.  Why?  Well, in the worst case (I always start with the worst case), so that I have the control of my life to end my life if I wish.  Helium is the current preferred method in mind.   But also so that while I can still make plans, I can plan for things I CAN do, avoid the things that I cannot do -- avoid situations that could result in avoidable frustration, humiliation.  Humiliation.  Stuff like that.   And of course:  keep my eye on any progress towards "the cure".   Also the legal stuff:  making sure that finances and business are in order, that heirs are left without too much hassle, powers of attorney, trusts, ....whatever.


But hell, everybody dies.   What takes us down, does it make a difference?   I guess it does to me.   Somehow a massive sudden heart attack, even an unexpected auto accident, something fast and furious and ! painless?    All that sounds better than a long and lingering loss of self.

I want to remember what I forgot to document what symptoms I may discuss with a doctor.   Let's start with this:   In resurrecting this blog, this private blog of personal musings, I discover one I completely forget having written, about Charlie's return from a trip to Spain.  I have no recollection of the trip, no recollection of the events of his return, total blank.  

Maybe it's nothing.